she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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