I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
