We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
