You just made me feel so damn special
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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