yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can feel your judgement through the phone
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
