I have demons in me.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
