I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
