you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
