ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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