9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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