so explain again why im purple
no
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
