She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
