I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
one two three fourrrrnication!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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