I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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