Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
