So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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