"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
