babies were throwing up all over the place
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
