thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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