i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
