I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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