Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
