Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
