we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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