She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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