I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
