i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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