Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
