Please, let me fuck your mom
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
