Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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