You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
