Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
