just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
