you guys were way drunker than both of me
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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