She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
