Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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