I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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