Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
All I want is dick and wine.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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