you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
