she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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