I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
