I'd wear matching sweaters with you
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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