Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
