i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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