The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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