she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Randomize
