he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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