What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
