So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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