hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
