well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
