its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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