the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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