there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
