the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Boobs are out for the taking
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
